Winter 2010
Seven Tips for Managing
E-Mail Effectively
Have you ever opened an e-mail just to have the rest of your day ruined? E-mail becomes more challenging when emotions kick in. For example, someone sends a message placing blame for an error while copying everyone on the mailing list. Then there’s the negative micro-message: the unspoken message between the lines that speaks louder than words. In fact, when some writers go for the jugular, they are just as likely to use negative micro-messages as they are to use disparaging remarks.
Whenever writers use e-mail for purposes other than getting the job done, everyone loses. Though you cannot control what others do with e-mail, you can control how you interpret the messages that you receive and how you respond. So the next time someone writes you a message placing blame or discharging emotions, do not get hooked in.
Here are a few ways to manage e-mail effectively, especially when feelings are involved.
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Interpret messages objectively.
If you infer that there is a problem, you may actually create one. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt, and then take a moment to assess how your own feelings may affect how you are interpreting the message.
When you are feeling good about life in general, you are less likely to have a negative reaction and more likely to handle a situation objectively. Therefore, if you have a negative response, put the message aside for an hour or two or even until the next day. Then read the message again to see if you may have misread the writer’s intent; you may be surprised by your change of heart.
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Apologize when appropriate.
Communication is like a dance, and it takes two to tango. Most issues can be diffused when everyone involved acts responsibly. Therefore, if an apology is called for, say something simple, such as “I’m sorry for your inconvenience,” and then move on. Do not give elaborate explanations because they can sound like excuses.
As well, accept apologies gracefully and then move on. If no apology is given, move on anyway; you do yourself no favor by dwelling on a situation that zaps your energy and depletes your confidence.
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Understand generational differences in expectations, especially when it comes to technology.
Boomers and Veterans expect responses to e-mail and other communications in a timely manner, having been inculcated in a “protocol” to follow. When they do not receive a response, they may interpret it as a negative micro-message. When Boomers and Veterans feel slighted, they have been known for taking a “let’s make them guess” approach, which can lead to more negative micro-messages. In contrast, Gen-Xers and Millenniums are more likely to speak what is on their minds; but when they speak frankly, that does not mean that they are looking for a “fight.”
When communication involves generational diversity, be open-minded about the way that you interpret words and actions that do not meet your expectations.
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Work directly with someone when there is a problem.
Do not copy a person’s manager unless it is a last resort to solving a problem. If you take an aggressive approach because you feel slighted, you may win the battle but lose the war. In other words, trust is a critical element in any relationship; when you violate someone’s trust, you are not likely to regain it easily, if ever.
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Do not say it in writing if you would not say it face-to-face.
Sitting in front of a computer screen instead of looking into a colleague’s eyes makes it easy to forget the human element of e-mail. When a serious issue arises, do not hide behind e-mail. Make a phone call or meet in person, even if it takes more time. But whatever you do, do not let any negative situation escalate; it’s simply unprofessional.
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Brush up on your skills.
Though the meaning behind your message is more important than form or format, do not let your writing skills hold you back. If you tend to second-guess your grammar and punctuation decisions, take steps to build your skills.
Brushing up on your skills will improve your confidence and save you time. In the meantime, the best way to improve your writing skills is to write more. Set aside time to put your thoughts on paper when you are not in a task-driven mode.
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Put purpose first.
Make the purpose of your message instantly accessible for your readers, adjusting the subject line so that it also reflects the purpose of your message.
Writing is a process that involves composing and editing. To achieve a well-crafted message, compose freely until you know your key point. Then revise your draft by cutting and pasting your key point to the beginning of the message. Once you place your key point up front, delete unnecessary information so that your final message is clear and concise.
When writers do not take the time to edit their messages, meaning is often buried, which puts stress on the reader who must work hard to figure out what is needed. As Mark Twain once said, “The more you explain it, the more I don’t understand it.”
Unfortunately, the cost of misusing e-mail can be high: a writer can lose credibility along with valued business relationships. Always keep in mind that an underlying purpose of all business communications is building business relationships. Take time to understand your readers’ expectations, and then focus on taking actions that enhance trust rather than tear it down.
By giving your colleagues the benefit of the doubt, they are more likely to do the same for you when you write a message that is unclear or up for misinterpretation. And one final bit of advice, “When in doubt, don’t send it out!”
